I lied

I lied and said I was busy,

I was busy; but not in a way most people understand

I was busy giving my tears a chance to dry,

I was busy recovering from the night mares I had the night prior.

I was busy trying to control my anxiety, I was busy convincing myself I am ok, I am strong, I can do this.

I was busy trying with every ounce of me not to give up.

I was busy telling myself It's my imagination they are not pushing me away because I loss a baby. I was busy keeping her memory alive. I was busy with grief, I was busy mustering the energy to face the world. I was busy putting myself back together because every night I fall apart from holding it together.

I was busy Praying asking GOD to give me the strength and the courage to continue my mission and not let your death be in vain. I was busy finding purpose in my pain, and more important

I was busy making sure everyone would remember her name.