The Last Day Before Forever

15years ago, today my life made sense, looking back on it I can even say it was perfect. Only cares were of financial obligations and dealing with a baby. I was normal my reality was normal and natural. I fit in; sure, I had some flaws, but everything was as nature intended it to be. I remember it like it was yesterday never in a million years did I think my life would be different in the morning. Never did I imagine my tomorrow would no longer fit in the caliber of normal there were no real normal no cares of anything other than what was in front of me. I was another woman with 4 kids 3 boys and a baby girl I could relate to everything and everyone. I was in the same realm or normal my life was not a living nightmare and I didn’t have to fight to coexist.

15years ago, today She was here but this day she was different. It’s almost as if she knew this would be the last day with us. Journee was normally a good kid she didn’t cry that much at all. But this day she was extremely fussy and needy that was so not like her. She was a very independent little one she didn’t like attention or affection (sounds familiar) she didn’t like to be bothered. But on this day, she wanted me to hold her and when she got tired of me holding her, she wanted her dad to hold her. She would not allow anyone to put her down. Looking back on it I really think she knew she knew we needed those last moments. We fell right into her trap because we took turns holding her playing with her, rocking her until she was sound asleep. How arrogant were we to think her going to sleep we would get a break? And she will get to rest she would rest forever, and we would get a break forever whether we wanted it or not.