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Sticks & Stones

Updated: Jan 26, 2019

Sticks and stones may break my bones and words do pierce and hurt me.

We were taught all threw life that words should never hurt you it’s not who others say you are but who God say you are. And to ignore anything negative people say to you and don’t let it get to you.

What they didn’t tell you is how impossible it is to do that when you just lost a piece of you. When you’re completely open and vulnerable and trying desperately to hold on to life.

All It takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are.

Our grief is measured by the love we have for the person we lost. Never underestimate a grieving person their pain weighs as much as their love THEY ARE, but they ARE NOT all at once. You'll be OK your a strong person, I despise hearing those words it's almost as if someones implying that you had a choice to go threw such pain. It has taken me years to truly express the impact of grief via writing because no matter how OK I told myself I was, its something about reading those words as you write it that makes everything more real. Loosing someone that was once everything to you, that you prayed for, dreamed of, hoped for, ext. A person never recover after such loss but often I think we underestimate the impact grief really has on us. We are forced to face the fat that we will never see them again, hear their voice know their future and we are stuck with the uncertainty of whether or not we will be reunited in heaven. And if that's the case we become anxious to see. Now this is not a suicide thing or nothing of the source its more of admittance of feelings otherwise to afraid to admit to someone because of your typical pity remarks. Its true life goes on, the world as we know keeps spinning and we are stuck trying to remember trying not to remember, trying to feel while trying not to feel, trying to exist while slowly fading away. Meanwhile while your stagtnant the world we know is still moving, your friends, your family, your co workers havent forgot about your loss but forgot about your loss. While you are feeling; they are lacking understanding of your feelings. Sounds a bit complicated right? To often I find myself In a awwww, not feeling, not really thinking, just there. Walking talking moving but not existing at all. wanting to express my feeling but tired of feeling them so naturally I assume

everyone else is tired of hearing them, and of course you think no one really cares anyway.

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